How Present Are You?Sep 21, 2021
Tests of Presence
"How present are you in your day?”
I have a great relationship with my personal trainer.
Where does your imagination go when I say that, by the way?
Okay stop that! Heh.
There’s no romance. But we talk about our love lives.
For a great while, both of us were single. As you’ve heard me mention before, that’s how I thought I’d remain. Single, and not good at relationships.
But then life happened.
Well, I believe it’s the spiritual work I’ve done for years - things I’m trying to share with you! - that changed my relationship status.
It happens to be pretty abundant right now.
It’s stepchildren, it’s a loving partner, and it’s all the things you create together. It’s a creationship.
But it’s also a model for doing things in presence or doing them in...the other thing.
Presence Versus Blame
Relationships are a great presence test because when you’re NOT present...boy, that partner of yours is doing everything wrong, aren’t they?
There’s so much rolled up in relationships.
Do you wake at the same time?
Do you work together? Do you spend time right after work?
Do you have a special shared activity?
Do you make a weird noise when you eat?
Heh, how about that one? As we all know, there are weird eating habits. They make us human!
On a good day, it’s just a cute affectation. It’s something you accept because of the big picture. This is your partner, and they’re worth it.
On a bad day? Holy smokes, if they make that sound again, they better DUCK.
They Aren’t Doing Anything
The big lesson? Your partner - and really everyone - is just doing their best.
There's a temptation in romantic relationship to blame the other wrongfully. They’re handy, they’re sensitive to you, they’re vulnerable.
So when you’re in a bad place internally, but out of touch with it, suddenly it appears to be the fault of your partner.
It’s not, though.
If this is something you struggle with, falling into frustration about your loved ones, even just falling into frustration with yourself, I encourage you to look into my Cage Talk series coming up.
Inner life, serenity, is so precious. It’s like a garden that nourishes us.
Maintaining that safe, quiet space inside is essential for showing up responsibly in our lives, no matter how great a distance we span to do so.
I’m with you on the path. Keep showing up
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